You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy all jump off a building. they all immediately die on impact, later on the news white guy jumps off building.

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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