Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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What's 2+2? Fish

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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Your mother is so fat.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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