"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

Christ is a conspiracy

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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