why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

What's old and baggy? An old bag.

Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

An Asian person drove home safely.

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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