"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Beware of orange frogs with black stripes! They are dangerous! On the other hand, if you see a black frog with orange stripes, you're in no danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Miscarriages.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops