Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man noticed that the sun was coming in brightly through his window. He was trying to take a nap and didnt appreciate the sunlight. He closed the blinds.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

thumb_up thumb_down -6

hey justin

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are grey violets are grey im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops