Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops