what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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Why did the basketball team from Detroit win the youth championship? Because they had a good coach amd dedicated, hard-working players.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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