Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Your gay

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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Santa isn't real

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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