What happened to the fish? It drowned

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

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The queen having a shit

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she never got married or involved with anyone in her lifetime because everyone was to scared and ashamed to be around her. you're adopted

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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