A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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Why did the man tell the child to get into the van? They were late for a field trip.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

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Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God.

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Nah

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's the difference between a white guy playing basketball and a black guy playing hockey??? There is none..they hardly get playing time!!

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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I woke up today

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

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A Jewish man walks by a penny.

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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