MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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hello

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dallen loves penis

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Nope, I mean you can try, but my phone is busted and the code on the chip my galpal here managed to finally get into the cell, has sixteen digits so damn small that none of us can read it,

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings,whats worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust?.. 3 bee stings

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops