why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

Black people deserve to be slaves for their entire lives. WHITE POWER.

So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

What is big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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