A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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