What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

no

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jack Stevens

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops