What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

knock knock? Whos there? a questionable person. What? exactly.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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