roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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WHO LET THE GHOST OUT! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO! Mortals: That was a bit funny...

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A black man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" He says as the Klu Klux Klan beat him with sticks

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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