A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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jd and zach loves vigina

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

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"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim? Our faiths are actually derived from the same Judeo base.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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