Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

how do you get a black guy out of a tree? fried chicken.

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

- Knock, knock. - Who's there? - Immigration.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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