I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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