Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops