Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops