A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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Knock knock. Who is their? Grammar. Grammar who? Of course you don't know.

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A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops