What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

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What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

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69

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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