What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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a black guy walks into a black bar

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What do you call a Rhino and a Lion having sex? Pointless, since they can't reproduce

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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what did the farmer do? plant

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A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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this is stupid .... yep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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