What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

Do u take sugar?

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

I have read the terms and conditions

Choir.

What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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