Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Knock knock Go away

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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