What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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The WNBA

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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