At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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