what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Well this is pointless.....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

joe diragi whacks off his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's a foot long and slippery A dick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops