Knock Knock! F*ck off

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

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Lol you respond here goood one AAANDEEERS TEN MG PER PILL Asswhipe! Besides friends call me Black Metal, you can call me Nero the avenger. Line kinda broke up with you first, you think she would send you a picture with my finger on her... cough... AND THINK YOU WOULD STILL STIck aROUND WITH HER? Id be more... well glad for your mothers sake, btw, she got me flowers, I wont tell the rest, but she got me another pic... Okay ill tell the rest then, first pic is my fingas, the other is my limpo in her mouth... The third is the funny doctor which caught us and wanted all three of us to be on the pic... Aww, no really man, you had a gem, we where good friends before me and Line, but she did not want to leave before she got me flowers... Aww... Ooooh... Oh! Well not yet but you get the picutre. I got ur message, sure im high as a kite, but I know what im doing if you can "picture" what I mean... Dont tell your mom btw, I want to surprise her, (reverse psychology) hmm, that did I write that? Anyway, how is your sister doing? I dont think she gives those strangely long hugs to anyone but me, and she laughed wen i got a boner... NERO, never call me, never ever call Me black, besides its either Mr.Black, oor black metla you rat! VALIUM? SERIOUSLY? Ill get that test extended you know... Because POISONING!

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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