A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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