What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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High school is like forced anal sex, Hard, painful, and you cry your hopes and dreams at the end of it all.

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She says ow

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Why couldn't the kid get into see the pairate movie? It was rated PG-13 and he was only 11. Plus he had no money and his mother didnt want him watching movies like that.

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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