whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a hispanic man hopping a large fence? A hispanic man hopping a large fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops