How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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