- Anti Joke

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

what is red white and blue? the french flag

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.