Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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Poker face

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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John Cena for president

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops