Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

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Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

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Why was the giant scorpion sad? Because the Holocaust killed his entire family.

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Q: The red house is to the left and the blue house is to the right. Where is the white house? A: 3 blocks down from the red house

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You know what's funny? Rape

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What's worse than the holocaust? Giovanna Plowman.

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The turd said crazy turd so many cows have ninety two ears and it walked away to the store and drank doors while juggling feces and racist jack-o-lanterns.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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A psychotic man steals a Police Officer's handgun, the man runs down the street. What happened? He fell in a hole and died.

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name 3 fruit begining with n a napple, a norange, and a nannana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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