Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I have cancer. And you're next.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Nick Cannon

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops