Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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what has genitial warts? me

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Women's rights

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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