Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

ur gay

Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

nickel back

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

Who's Juan? DIS ONE

2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

Women's rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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