what?

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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gabe sucks 8-------------------D~

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

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Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

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When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

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Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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