Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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