What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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