Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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one of the idiot

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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I met this girl and we really got along, then one night she tied me up, I thought she was getting kinky...then she ripped my face off....

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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