My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Your life

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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