Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb. One

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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