If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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when debbie meets downer

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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A paralysed man falls over.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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