What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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