What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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whats funnier than a dead musim? a guy who begs a girl to go out with him for 16 hours

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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penisvaginaorgasm

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

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Wanna here a joke? Dylan Shipleys penis!!!

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What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

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Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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well use a tissue!

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Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my legs Doctor: It's because you're blind son

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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