Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why did the man die? He was old.

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

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there was once a jew

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops