What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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what do you call obama a dumbass

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Wanna hear a bathroom joke? YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US?!?

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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NASCAR being considered a sport.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot. A: A pilot you racist.

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A sober Amy Winehouse

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Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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