Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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whats red and all over the road your family after a horrific car crash

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Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops