A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

hi joshua

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops